FACTS

​Finally there it was, the thing he needed to face,

The fact that she used him after he had extended her grace,

A fact he never would have nor ever wanted to confess,

But every few months he throws up the thoughts he’s been trying to supress,

Gullible he was when he decided to trust her,

Now he can never forget, and things won’t ever be as they were,

Now a broken man trying to find the scattered pieces of life,

Trying to find the pieces to convince him that life is worth the fight.

2017
 

“Just A Different Day”

Here it is once again,
It’s all the same but a different day,
The heart is bleeding,
While the eyes are weeping,
The mind is racing,
But the thoughts are fading,
The blood is flowing,
Yet the veins are rolling,
The pain is at its peak,
Yet too steep to find relief,
It tries to find disguise,
Though it cannot hide,
It tries to deceive the mind,
Though the eyes aren’t blind,
So there you are once again,
Nothing’s changed, it’s just a different day!

(c) 2016

Thinking Thoughts

Emotions flowing profusely,
Pouring out and flooding my brain,
Tears dropping plankity plank,
Down my face like the splattering rain,
Thoughts are trying to be thought,
While questions needing answers are sought,
In my moment of deep agonizing despair,
Into the far distance I gaze out and stare,
Thinking thoughts that are merely blank,
Painting pictures with no need of paint,
Spaced out and far gone into the depth of somewhere,
Moving here and about but not even going anywhere,
Thoughts rushing to form words a mile a minute,
Running its designated course trying to reach an ultimate finish.

(C) 2016

“It Wasn’t Yours To Have”

To quick to trust in someone,
To quick to want to see the best in everyone,
To eager to be welcoming and kind,
To eager to lay it all out on the line,
To impatient to see the warning signs,
To naive to realize what was lurking in your eyes,
And so, you stole the virtue from within the mere depth of me,
And you knocked the wind outside which was inside of me,
You took from me that which was not yours to have,
It really happened so abrupt, so quick and oh so fast,
Even days later I feel sick and dirty, misused and abused,
I feel ashamed and embarrassed, and oh so confused,
Yet I blame myself, it is on me to bear,
Because I opened the door to this and ignored the warnings there,
Oh If I could turn back the hands of time,
I would not make the mistake of bypassing the warning signs!

Heifer

Today I was referred to as a heifer. I truly believe it was in a joking manner; yet I found at the closing of the call when I hung up the phone, it was offensive and “I WASN’T LAUGHING!” In technical term a heifer is a female cow that haven`t bore a calf, but in slang or urban term a heifer is a rude comment implying the person is really hefty, fat and so on and so forth. I quickly realized even in joking I do not want to be implicated in any way other than the person my Father and God has created me to be, whether I’d be a size 2 or a size 22, whether in joking or for real, whether by a loved one or a stranger, PERIOD! People don’t realize and some don`t even care that words do hurt. The little saying we learned as kids, “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is a LIE. Words do hurt and I have come to find in life that many folk that hurt others with their words are battling with their own issues and insecurities with themselves, therefore they subconsciously feed on drawing attention to others to take attention from themselves. It’s sad but true and truth be told I don`t have to accept someone else’s labeling of me. My Father says that, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that my soul knows right well.” I want to be embraced by those who are willing to embrace me as I embrace them and embrace myself, and that’s with unconditional love. I’m human so I see flaws and differences but I see them as a unique gift from God which does not alter the way I feel about the person and the individual I come to know in building a relationship or friendship. The world would truly be a boring place if God created us all exactly the same, Selah.