Today I was referred to as a heifer. I truly believe it was in a joking manner; yet I found at the closing of the call when I hung up the phone, it was offensive and “I WASN’T LAUGHING!” In technical term a heifer is a female cow that haven`t bore a calf, but in slang or urban term a heifer is a rude comment implying the person is really hefty, fat and so on and so forth. I quickly realized even in joking I do not want to be implicated in any way other than the person my Father and God has created me to be, whether I’d be a size 2 or a size 22, whether in joking or for real, whether by a loved one or a stranger, PERIOD! People don’t realize and some don`t even care that words do hurt. The little saying we learned as kids, “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is a LIE. Words do hurt and I have come to find in life that many folk that hurt others with their words are battling with their own issues and insecurities with themselves, therefore they subconsciously feed on drawing attention to others to take attention from themselves. It’s sad but true and truth be told I don`t have to accept someone else’s labeling of me. My Father says that, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that my soul knows right well.” I want to be embraced by those who are willing to embrace me as I embrace them and embrace myself, and that’s with unconditional love. I’m human so I see flaws and differences but I see them as a unique gift from God which does not alter the way I feel about the person and the individual I come to know in building a relationship or friendship. The world would truly be a boring place if God created us all exactly the same, Selah.
Who is it that can give me direction and inspiration?
Who is it that will give me strength and motivation?
Who is it that can give me Agape love and affection?
And Who can I depend on for around the clock protection?
Who can I literally talk to all day long?
And Who can I depend on when everyone else is gone?
Who will never leave me and have never forsaken me?
And Who has broken these chains of bondage to set me free?
Who, I say WHO can I walk with whether it be day or night?
And Who can I depend on when I need to stand and fight?
Who can I look to when feeling lost and lowly,
And Who can I approach behind the veil in awe and boldly?
Who will stick closer to me than any other?
And Who will give me the words to speak when my tongue wants to stutter?
Who, I say WHO can I trust always and forever?
That WHO would be my Heavenly Father, and truly there is no one better!
More time was what he wanted but could not have,
And he desired to treasure it all again, to live life and laugh,
Yet life as he knew it was quickly flashing before his eyes,
As his organs began to malfunction, he cried for more time,
He said, “If I could do it over I’d do things alot diffrently!”
But it wasn’t until death was staring him in the face he received an epiphany,
That he had taken all of the many close calls given him for granted,
And time had run its course, God was now calling as heaven chanted,
“Please give me more time Father,” he said as he continuously wept,
For he wasn’t quite ready to go to his heavenly home just yet,
But he knew it was a matter of time so he began to get his earthly house in order,
As he faced the realization that these earthly bodies are not immortal,
Back into the ground he knew his earthly shell would be buried,
So time was of the essence therefore he knew he had to hurry,
Not completely making the fact that he was about to pass known,
He spent day and night with family with no desire to be alone,
Until the moment was at hand, it was then he sent them on an errand,
And he put things in order where they would be easily apparent,
He knew he was about to breathe his last breath on this side,
But he knew it would have killed his wife to stand there and watch him die,
So he did what he knew to do in order to ease some of her upcoming pain,
And he made sure his last few moments were spent wisely and not in vain,
More time was what he desired but knew time had run its course,
Therefore he decided not to fight anymore and submitted without force,
And although that moment he had with his family would be his last,
He left behind the type of memories that would continue to last and last!
I walk into the office and check in at the desk,
Thinking, “this visit the doctor will find the remedy to cure my stress,”
The stress of wondering what’s really going on inside my body,
Yet hundreds of dollars later there’s still no relief for this body,
So I walk into the examining room expecting to receive good care,
From this doctor I use to trust who now never takes his chair,
In fact my examining is conducted from my chair, never upon the examining table,
Which makes me feel unimportant and as if I’ve been stamped with a label,
So you take my money but don’t even give me fifteen minutes of your time,
Hell fifteen minutes is actually way beyond being patient and kind,
Because I’m not a statistic or a number written on a strip of paper,
And I’d be best to find another doctor very soon rather than later,
Because to prescribe medicine without testing is careless and ludicrous,
Therefore it’s time to leave while I’m still alive, really enough is enough,
It’s so sad because the journey as your patient started out so well,
But greed has entered your heart, you’ve sold yourself to the one in Hell,
But I on the otherhand belong to my FATHER, the Ultimate Healer,
And any wounds we have HE is without doubt the Perfect Sealer,
Scripture tells us the woman with the issue of blood spent all she had,
And she walked away time after time un-cured, defeated, and sad,
But then one day she “heard” that JESUS was passing by,
And she made up in her mind that she would give DR. JESUS a try,
She stepped out into the crowd in which she did not belong,
And she pressed her way thrusting forward knowing she was clearly in the wrong,
Yet she took the chance, “If only I could touch HIS garment,” she said,
He could make me whole bringing back to life this body that’s nearly dead,
She stretched and touched Jesus, and was instantly made whole,
Yes she turned to her SOURCE, and new life began to unfold,
Can’t nobody do for us like the way our FATHER can,
Oh, I’m sorry HEAVENLY FATHER that I’ve put so much trust in man!
I came to an overnight Women’s Retreat and stayed at this hotel/conference center. This is the second year AGAPE has held their religious conference at this new location, however they obviously don’t know what is done in the dark or when eyes are closed.
Nevertheless, the conference was Friday morning to Saturday evening, but I became ill and had to extend my hotel stay another night. With that said, it is amazing how the staff is trained to basically kiss butt and suck up to you during the time you are registered for the conference, but outside of that stay, their true colors shine through.
From the moment the conference ended and the women in attendance left to go home, it has been the “STAY IN HELL!” I came up to lie down due to a migraine headache and everything from requesting for a trash can for the room (twice), to someone’s car alarm continually going off in the parking lot, to the train passing through shaking the hotel every 10 minutes (Where were these trains yesterday ), the Real Staff (the others were robots) being hung up on while trying to order room service, and to the rowdy teenagers (school trip) slamming doors and bumping against the wall next door I’ve had to endure misery. So much misery where I began to ask, “Lord am I being punished?”
Anyone that endure migraine headaches know that you seek a quiet place without lighting to rest and try to soothe the pain until it goes away. Anyone that endures these migraines also know that your patience is limited and the desire to “SET IT OFF” is intensified.
I am pleased to say the teenagers next door and the rude staff members have not experienced the fury of my wrath, Thank GOD for Jesus. However, I’ve been deceived and I will never stay overnight in this place ever again. Fort McGruder Conference Center and Hotel should really be called Hotel Hell!
Gas… I know it’s something every human has to release,
But it is one of those things I wish would quickly become obsolete,
I wish the passing of gas could be done without detection,
But to perform such a task every time would require mastery and perfection,
Yet we all can get away with slipping a few without being discovered,
Yet those silent but deadly ones can cripple a bystander with no time to take cover,
I mean I really hate when people pass gas around me,
Really!! What makes them think they have the right to break free?
Come on, I don’t want to smell the waste you just plopped from behind,
Seriously, that vicious and foul odor is quite awful and unkind,
If you can help it walk off into a secluded or designated place,
And feel free to let go of those grenades, but in your own personal space,
By all means have a blast, gag yourself while setting your insides free,
Just be kind and generous pretty please, and DON’T SET THEM OFF AROUND ME!
Sitting in this class nearly bored out of my mind,
And like a woman gone mad overly fixated on the time,
Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock says the clock,
And the thought of enduring another 6 hours is such a crock,
Wonk, Wonk, Wonk is the sound coming from your mouth,
Superman, Batman, Somebody come bust me out,
Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock says the clock,
Come by Mr. Wolverine and thrust your claws through this clock,
I don’t want to be here in case that wasn’t made clear,
I need a way to escape, I’ve got to get out of here,
I’m calling on all action figures to get in place,
I need a brilliantly maneuvered distraction so I can escape in haste,
Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock says the clock,
BANG, BANG, BANG was the next sound coming from my GLOCK!!!